In our previous post, we analyzed how the rise of artificial intelligence might impact our emotional intelligence. However, we must evaluate this from many perspectives, including how we might use AI to grow emotional intelligence. As such, the conversation is no longer just “What is AI doing to us?” but “What can we do with AI?”
Using AI for development purposes may not be for everyone and should always come with a word of caution, especially when taking action based on an AI-driven conversation. This guide is for leaders who see AI not as a threat to human skills but as a powerful, albeit unconventional, tool for development.
AI and EQ: From Conflict to Collaboration
The fear is valid: AI interactions, particularly in communication and leadership, can feel cold and mechanical. But the opportunity lies in a different lens: AI doesn’t replace emotional intelligence—it can augment it. Used passively, AI can dull our self-awareness. Used strategically, it becomes a mirror, a mentor, and a partner (with caution).
How AI Can Support EQ Development
By examining the EQI 2.0 composite scales, we can find potential ways to utilize AI to our advantage.
Self-Perception: Deepening Self-Awareness
AI-powered journaling tools like Reflectly, among others, or even conversational agents like ChatGPT can guide users through self-reflection prompts, helping them explore their values, habits, and emotional patterns. Leaders can leverage these tools for structured self-reflection or to track emotional insights over time.
For example, after discussing the Gibbs Reflective model with a client, the client designed, using ChatGPT, a prompt to walk them through the steps.
Self-Expression: Enhancing Communication Skills
AI can help individuals draft clear, empathetic communication. Tools like Grammarly or AI writing assistants can suggest emotionally intelligent phrasing, but the key is to avoid outsourcing the emotion. For example, use AI to draft difficult messages, then edit 30% manually to reflect tone, empathy, and authenticity. Or draft the original message and allow AI to adjust to meet particular emotional needs.
Interpersonal Skills: Building Connection and Empathy
AI simulations can help leaders and employees rehearse difficult conversations or receive feedback on tone and inclusivity. For example, virtual reality training with AI is already being used for emotional awareness in high-stakes scenarios.
Decision-Making: Enhancing Perspective and Judgment
AI excels at pattern recognition, making it a powerful tool for decision support. Leaders can prompt AI to challenge their assumptions, offer alternative viewpoints, or identify emotional blind spots.
For example, after deciding on a strategy or course of action, ask AI to critique it. This helps build resilience, improve problem-solving, and reduce confirmation bias. Remember, position AI not as the decision-maker but as a reflection and reality testing tool.
Stress Management: Strengthening Resilience
AI-enabled mindfulness apps can help leaders manage stress and avoid burnout. Meanwhile, digital assistants can offload repetitive tasks, freeing up cognitive space for deeper thinking. Normalize using AI-powered tools to set clear digital boundaries (e.g., no meeting zones, digital detox days).
As you can see, the ways to use AI for personal development are as varied as those using it.
A Few Risks to Monitor: Avoiding Emotional Shortcutting
AI is powerful, but as mentioned in the previous article, its neutrality can mask pitfalls:
- Simulated empathy can lead to emotional laziness if not checked.
- Over-reliance on AI for interpersonal tasks can atrophy communication and conflict resolution skills.
- Hyper-efficiency may reduce the tolerance for emotional complexity or discomfort, which are necessary for personal growth.
The goal is conscious and intentional integration—using AI to support, not substitute, emotional intelligence.
A Few Best Practices for Implementation for People and Teams
- Implement the “Human-First” Rule: Before using AI, prompt individuals to reflect on their views and emotions.
- Educate Teams on EQ-AI Balance: Offer training on how to use AI tools without eroding emotional depth. Consider including AI usage as part of team norms.
- Model EQ-Aware AI Use: Leaders should model behavior by using AI to support emotional intelligence, not replace it.
- Revisit the topic often: Just like emotions, we should be in charge of AI, not the other way around. Revisit how this tool is used and offer guidance or rules to maximize its value and ensure it isn’t creating greater challenges than it is solving.
Final Thought
AI may be artificial, but emotional intelligence remains profoundly human. The leaders and organizations that succeed in the next era will balance intelligence with emotional depth, technology with trust, and speed with self-awareness.